#just read it you won't regret it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shinidamachu · 1 year ago

Note

I think you or someone else discussed how Inuyasha is most likely demisexual because of his lack of interest in nudity until he formed an emotional bond. I was just thinking how the anti’s claimed Inuyasha settled for Kagome, but all evidence points to him loving her *despite* her resemblance to Kikyo. Not hating on Kikyo, just pointing out how Inuyasha kept saying it’s his fault she died because he didn’t trust her, even though trust has to go both ways but whatever, so if he was settling then Kagome would be a daily reminder that he failed Kikyo. Which would sound like hell considering his repeated claims of his fault.

But clearly in the past discussion of Inuyasha being demisexual, we all know he isn’t shallow or ”settling”.

I might have mentioned Inuyasha being demisexual once or twice, but I don't remember posting something that specific. Maybe someone else did and I reblogged it?

I'm glad you brought up the "Inuyasha settled for Kagome" terrible take, though, because you make great points and boy do I have something to say about it.

First, I love that you mentioned trust has to go both ways despite Inuyasha blaming Kikyo's death solely on his lack of trust on her. It always bothered me how quickily and sincerely he owned up to the role he played on her fate when there was zero reciprocity from Kikyo.

He went as far as taking responsability for things that have never really happened and that would be completely out of his control if they had, such as Kikyo "dying to follow after him" even though he didn't ask for it and never would.

The irony is that, between the two of them, Kikyo was actually the one more equipped to realize they were being played and yet, not only she falls for the same trap, but never really acknowledges that her lack of trust on Inuyasha was just as detrimental to their downfall.

Naraku's entire plan was based on both of them doubting each other. If either one had been more trusting, it'd have failed. Inuyasha recognizes this and regrets not trusting Kikyo, immediately treating her like the victim that she is and never once blaming her.

But he is a victim himself and she never extends the same courtesy to him, still thinking her actions were justified because he should have trusted her — not the other way around — and so she never bothers easing his guilt. On the contrary, she purposely adds to it.

The thing about the love triangle — for lack of a better term — is that Inuyasha and Kagome are constantly pushing their feelings aside to empathize with each other's and Kikyo's pain, while Kikyo acts like she's the only one who's hurting.

Which is to be expected at first because she is the one who died and was brought back against her will, but as the story progressed, I kept waiting for Kikyo to see a little bit of herself on the ordinary girl who was entrusted the weight of the world upon her shoulders, had her shoes to fill and the mess she left behind to clean up.

I kept waiting for her to show some sympathy for the boy who lost fifty years of his life because she misjudged him and was willing to die for a debt she manipulated and guilt-tripped him into thinking he had, a boy she supposedly loves.

None of it came, at least not in a way that felt organic or satisfying. That's my main issue with how Kikyo was written. You can't paint her as a complex character and then gloss over her flaws. You can't sell her as gray character and then pretend the bad things she did never happened.

Takahashi wanted her to reap all of the rewards that come with a redemption arc without really bothering to make her go through one, because that would mean having Kikyo face her mistakes for what they were — including her distrust on Inuyasha — and then apologizing or making up for it, a feat that rarely happened in canon, if at all.

Instead, she abruptly stops acting as vicious, so everything can be conveniently forgiven and forgotten because "she isn't like that anymore." The lack of explanation about what motivated this change makes harder for the audience to connect with her and results in many plot inconsistencies.

And the lack of accountability regarding Kikyo's actions keeps her from growing and reaching her full potential as a character, indirectly regressing or preventing the development of the characters around her as well, which I believe is a huge part of why the story feels repetitive and stagnant at times.

Now, you're definitely onto something when you argue that all evidence actually points to Inuyasha falling in love with Kagome despite her resemblance to Kikyo. I've actually talked about it here and here.

While it's true that Inuyasha mistook Kagome for Kikyo when they first met, it would've been unreasonable to expect anything different. Their looks and scents are similar, he had just woken up from a fifty years long spell and up until then he had no reason to believe otherwise, but Inuyasha actually caught up in a decent amount of time.

After that, as much as he still refused to call Kagome by name, he was also very aware she wasn't Kikyo, to the point that it took seeing her with complete priestess attire on for him to even make that correlation again.

And yet, Inuyasha still doesn't go back into thinking they're the same person, but rather that Kagome's a girl who resembles Kikyo. Only eventually, even this starts to change the more time they spend together and suddenly, when Inuyasha has a nightmare about Kikyo, is Kagome he sees first.

Mind you, he has only seen Kagome in priestess clothes once. Kikyo wore those her entire life. It'd be understandable for him to confuse Kagome for Kikyo and yet Kagome was his first thought here when, by logic, she shouldn't have been. From them on, he doesn't even see any resemblance between the two girls at all anymore.

Which makes sense, because even if Inuyasha had tried to use Kagome as a replacement — something he never did — he couldn't possibly have succeded, since both girls are polar opposites — a creative choice that was done completely on purpose — and Kagome wasn't slightly interested on being anyone but herself, making her into the worst Kikyo replacement ever.

That's why it got easier for Inuyasha to distinguish one girl from the other with time. Their distinct personalities make up for completely different dynamics and bring completely different feelings out of Inuyasha, because they represent completely different things to him and, again: this is done absolutely on purpose.

In the manga, this is better illustrated by two very specific panels. In the first one, Kikyo is smiling sadly but genuinely at Inuyasha — which we don't see her do often — and he admitted later on that the exchange made him feel guilty, like he had done something wrong, since he had just been rude to her.

In the second one, Kagome is smiling brightly at Inuyasha, which she does constantly, then we immediately see him blush and think to himself how relieved he is to see that smile

Of course those are very different contexts, but they pretty much set the tone for both relationships and if the arrangement of those panels wasn't a conscious choice — which I doubt — then Takahashi is insanely lucky. It's also worth noting that Inuyasha felt relieved to see Kagome smiling because it was further confirmation that even after Kikyo's resurrection, she was still Kagome.

So I think it's safe to say the physical resemblance actually slowed the romantic process down, considering that the staged betrayal made Inuyasha build his walls even taller than they were when he met Kikyo. This becomes even more clear when you compare their respective first "amicable" conversations.

With Kikyo, even though he was reluctant about her approach and suspicious of her intentions, there was still a part of him that obviously wanted it to be true, so he was at least open to what she had to say.

With Kagome, he was visibly more aggressive and closed off because he has been burned before and she was the reincarnation of the woman who did the burning, which makes her managing to get his trust so quickly that much more remarkable, since she apparently did in less time and in worse circumstances, what Kikyo couldn't.

And Kagome did it precisely because she never acted like Kikyo. She actually took the time to know Inuyasha, to give him her trust and to earn his, to build a solid relationship, based on honesty and real acceptance.

I like to think that, while Kikyo found a crack on Inuyasha's defense she could slip in, Kagome slowly smashed his walls to the ground, therefore leaving an ever lasting impact on him that she couldn't have made by being anyone but herself.

When Inuyasha starts to pursue Kagome romantically, he does so after concluding that there's absolutely no resemblance between the two girls at all and after going through an entire arc where Kagome cried for his sake and trusted him blindly, none of which has anything to do with Kikyo.

People argue that Inuyasha was actually trying to kiss Kikyo here, but why would he do that when he still thinks she betrayed him? And if this was really the case, then why has he never willingly kissed or tried to kiss Kikyo until their final goodbye, Sunrise additions excluded?

At this point, it makes more sense to me that he was avoiding to look at Kagome not because she looks like Kikyo — he has been looking at her just fine before —, but because he has started to catch feelings for her despite his efforts not to and doesn't know how to act. In fact, when he had the chance to kiss Kikyo soon after, this is what we got instead:

And then he hugs her — something the anime cut out — but the important thing is that Inuyasha had this and many other opportunities to rekindle his relationship with Kikyo and simply didn't.

In this particular occasion, he even go as far as to ask Kikyo to return the piece of soul that keeps her "alive" to Kagome knowing full well what the consequences were.

Why would Inuyasha settle for a "replacement" when he could have the real thing instead? Even if you believe resurrected Kikyo to be nothing more than a malicious replica of the original, she's still more Kikyo than Kagome could or would ever be.

I dislike this notion because if it's true and there's not an ounce of Kikyo there, why should the audience or the characters care if she "lives" or "dies"? If she gets a redemption arc or not? It feels like a cop out to only consider her the real Kikyo when she does good things.

That being said, save for maybe one scene at the beginning where Inuyasha shoved a bow and some arrows at Kagome because Kikyo was a master archer, he never expected her to behave like Kikyo, never tried to change her so she would and never acted frustrated or disappointed at the fact that she was her own person.

Inuyasha has his flaws — as any good main character should — but he always respected the inviduality of both girls, which is more than I can say about the people who insist on this baseless take.

To wrongly paint Inuyasha as someone who settled for Kagome because she looks like Kikyo gets especially icky when even Naraku, the villain who was obsessed with her, never redirected said obsession to Kagome.

It's such a common trope that I was actually expecting it, but I'm glad it didn't happen because it's a subtle and yet effective way of sedimenting both girls as separate individuals instead of going for the cheapest option.

And ironically, the only character who treated Kagome as if she was Kikyo was Kikyo herself, but even that was very early on and she only seemed to do it as a way of belittling Kagome, because while mentioning her to other people �� or by the end of the story — Kikyo had no trouble referring to Kagome as a different being.

Sunrise's adaptation made very questionable choices but something they were pretty consistent on was making clear Kagome and Kikyo aren't the same.

Besides, something fundamentally wrong with this argument is that Inuyasha comes off as shallow and Kikyo as disposeable. Shallow because it suggests physical appearance is all that matters — which goes against everything his character stands for in canon — and the soul is just a seal of approval.

Disposeable because it hints Kikyo's personality is so forgettable and unimportant that it played absolutely no part on sparkling Inuyasha's interest. She's so easily replaceable that even someone who had opposite world views, thoughts, feelings, temperament and mannerisms could do the trick. The memories they made are so generic that it wouldn't have make a difference if any other character was in her place.

Why do people even like those characters, why do they even ship them together if they truly believe that? That's why I don't buy that they actually do.

You see, considering how huge Kagome's soul is, Kikyo technically has got to be someone else's reincarnation too, but I've never seen anyone making the case that she is anyone but herself or that her predecessor is also the love of Inuyasha's life.

The reason they try to do this with Kagome is so that they can pretend Inuyasha and Kikyo somehow ended up together to cope with the fact that they didn't. And that's the exact same reason they pretend he setled for Kagome as well.

Which is funny because what exactly was Inuyasha settling for? Like, in the great scheem of things, what was Kikyo able to give him that he couldn't get a thousand times better from Kagome with no strings attached and just had to make his peace with it?

It seems to me like it was the other way around: Kagome managed to accomplish everything Kikyo failed to do, so if anything Inuyasha was settling, it was for Kikyo, resigned to spend the rest of his life as human — something he hated to be — just to get "accepted" or to die for something he didn't do just to appease her.

Finally, to say inuyasha settled implies he had no other choice but to marry Kagome. He had: staying single, because now that he has friends and wasn't alone anymore, he doesn't need a lover to fill that empty space in his life if he doesn't want one.

Plus, Kagome wasn't entitled to his love. She jumped trought that well knowing that three years is a long time, that people and feelings change and that what waited for her on the other side was a mystery, but she did it anyway because all she ever wanted from him was to stay by his side and for him to be honest with her.

Kagome would've been fine with a platonic relationship because even though she obviously wanted more, she was ready to accept whatever Inuyasha was willing to give her, but he wanted her to return so he could give her everything, which he couldn't before because he felt in debt with Kikyo. That's the whole point.

Inuyasha was the one who iniciated every romantic moment they had early on: the first hug, both almost kisses, etc. And it was clear that the things Kagome made him feel, such as that sense of peace, of belonging, of unadultered happiness, were very new to him, so the idea that Inuyasha was settling for her is laughable when this is the character in question:

I know a lot of those scenes were deleted or changed by Sunrise but I watched the anime without reading the manga beforehand and reached the exact same conclusions, so I'm still of the opinion that the people who convinced themselves Kagome was a consolation prize either didn't pay attention or have an agenda of their own to push, that won't change by reading the original material.

TLDR; one does not simply "settle" for their soulmate. They come home to them.

#As you can see I have no self control when it comes to this topic #I bet you regret sending this ask now but this one is on you anon #I won't feel bad about it because I know nobody will read it anyway #And I'm glad I wrote this because if I ever get another ask on the subject I can just link this post and call it quits #So thank you for this opportunity #Sidmailing #Inuyasha #Kagome #Inukag

304 notes · View notes

insertsomthinawesome · 10 months ago

Text

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.

But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.

I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.

I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.

I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.

I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.

I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)

I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.

And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)

From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)

Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.

Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜

#isa screams #long post #gif #flashing #i think? Lemme know if I'm incorrect on that one alksdjfLKSJDJDSG #I don't normally talk this much so its kinda strange?#its kinda nice to be more honest about this stuff though #I'm a bit more of a private person so its hard to find the balance between wanting to discuss things openly and honestly #but with the fact that I don't owe the entire world an explanation for everything I do #its a tricky thing #but today I felt like doing this and I think that's okay #if i regret it I just won't do it again alsdjLSDJLFJSGSDG #thanks if you read this! I appreciate it!#I'm a pretty smalltime artist relatively. So sometimes it feels as though it doesn't mater what i say or express.#But hm. I doubt its really that simple or bleak #And if I don't respect myself then well. Who will right?#And I want to learn how to be happy with how little or how much I get #part of the reason I've done so poorly mentally as an artist is chasing numbers and outside praise instead of asking the harder questions #am i happy with what i do? what I make? Who I am #I'm going to probably be working on those questions and problems for the rest of my life.#But thats okay. Thats not a bad thing :)

58 notes · View notes

a-witch-in-a-dumpster · 1 year ago

Text

I'm back and I'm not dead (yet)

I discovered Murderbot Diaries this summer and I finished book five and six about a mouth ago (I was devastated).

So I tried to draw the main crew for fun !

I really like the way I drew Mensah and Ratthi. The other are okay, I struggled to draw Murderbot because I usually see them with the armor (yes I'm very lazy for imagine them), but sometimes I make an effort and it turns out to be inspired by Markus from DBH- (hate myself for that)

Anyway, hope you like it ! If I can I will try to draw more stuff about the book because it s so freaking good and I love it so much

#my art #my artwork #murderbot diaries #murderbot diaries book #murderbot diaries fanart #murderbot #book fanart #this book is so good #read it #you won't regret it #the main character is an anxious depressed autistic ace killing machine who only wants to watch TV shows in peace #i relate #if anything happens to them I kill everyone and then myself #I think I nailed it for the design of Ratthi and Mensah #my dyslexic ass just realised that it's Mensah and not Mensha #now I will disappear again cause I have work to do for art school #I m very busy so sorry if I don't have time to post

87 notes · View notes

starleete · 9 months ago

Text

Five minutes later, with Calypso’s arms around his waist, Leo spurred Festus into flight. The bronze dragon spread his wings, and they soared into the unknown.

The blood of Olympus

28 notes · View notes

rotisseries · 1 year ago

Text

my insatiable curiosity would be my fatal flaw I believe because everyday I will catch myself on ao3 staring at the worst set of tags known to man like "oh that. that'll be FUCKING HORRENDOUSSSSS" and then I spend 5 minutes in a staring competition with the link to open it

#NONE OF THOSE FUCKING WORDS ARE IN THE BIBLE I'M NOT READING THATTTT #but it just sounds.... so unique... I have to know more #also not the fic this post is about but the other night I was looking at the sokka/jet/zuko tag to be funny #cause that sounds like the worst polycule of the century you know. mma ring. nightmare blunt rotation #so *naturally* I was curious what the tag would look like #THERE WAS AN 82 CHAPTER OMEGAVERSE FIC ABOUT SOKKA AND JET PICKING UP ZUKO LMAOOO #so OBVIOUSLY I was hitting up the tbostuals discord like hey how much would y'all pay me to read this #the answer is I probably would've done it for free I just would've taken them all down with me #AND WHYYYY. I HAVE SATIATED SAID CURIOSITY IN THE PAST I KNOW WHAT THOSE FICS ARE LIKE I WON'T FIND ANYTHING NEWWW #WHY AM I ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT ITTTT #“lmao how would that even fucking work” <- bitch who is about to regret every life decision ever

34 notes · View notes

darkleloog · 3 months ago

Text

NO.

OK THAT'S ALL, WHAT THE HELL, I DON'T INSULT ANYONE NOR DO I INTEND TO DO IT, IT'S RP, SEND THAT BUNCH OF TEXT IN A COPY PASTE OF THE FIRST RESULT THAT APPEARED I THOUGHT "hehe, Alex will very upset with Darkle, Darkle wants to win that position as Alex's enemy." AND I TOOK A RANDOM PIECE OF ALL THE LOTS OF TEXT THAT WAS PUT THERE. I don't understand it, I didn't want to offend anyone.

THEN IT'S MISUNDERSTOOD AND THEY SAY: "oh, this guy is an INCREDIBLE idiot" And I try to tell them calmly: "ahem, no. This is just rp, I would never do that."

(This is a completely idiotic topic and taken in an immature way by me) Oh, and you'll think: "nah, nah, nah, he's just trying to defend himself from what this monster really is."

NO.

STOP. WTH, NO.

Darkle: GCBC DID YOU BLOCK ME?? Thank you, I love you too.

UUUHHHHG, THIS TEXT LOOKS SO WEIRD WITH ALL CAPS-

Well, whatever. THE CREATION OF THIS ACCOUNT WAS TO CREATE HATE TOWARDS DARKLE, HE IS THE ANTAGONIST

While I was writing all this I was thinking: "this text looks so bad, it's going to look like I'm EXCUSING myself" NO, NO, NO.

What a shame all this is

OH YEAH, I BLOCKED GCBC FOR A LITTLE WHILE IN THE FORM OF: "no, now, stop, I don't want to get in trouble, I don't want to have to do THIS TEXT." And it only got worse, bad choice. MY FAULT, my fault, ik, it's my fault, I'm sorry.

At the end of that pile of text I put " /j " because I didn't want that to be misunderstood, and you will say: "why didn't you put in small print that it is not serious to insult? IT LOOKED BAD, FROM MY POINT OF VIEW IT LOST GRACE, RATHER, GRACE FROM DARKLE'S POINT OF VIEW, I really wanted to make it look like Darkle was the one who wrote it, NOT ME.

Ok, this is already a lot to read, GCBC, sorry to tell you so late, but, do you remember that time I made an Alex bot and you told me:

" AI is theft, and also a HORRIBLE resource guzzler. If you care at all about the hard work that *real people* put into honing their crafts, or the environment, you'll stay well away from this nonsense. "

(Yes, I copied the text)

Again, SORRY!! AI is crap if you ask me, but I really wanted to do something different. I didn't dare tell you.

Finally the text ends here.

Postscript: This blog is the blog of an antagonist. I thought: "an antagonist is needed in an rp"

I've put humor here because I don't even like reading things written with so much "Capital letters? Seriousness?"

That's it, it doesn't matter. IT'S OVER, RIGHT?

#I'm usually used to doing the OOC here.#I DO THE OOC HERE FROM THE-COMPUTER (Rest in pieces)#I really regret sending that to Alex. I didn't even read everything it said there. It was just a lot of text.#.... Question 28: what is your worst enemy..?#You don't hate me do you??? (This sounds so horrible)#I AM VERY AWARE OF WHAT I AM WRITEING.#You guys always saw the bad side of Darkle. But give him time. Things haven't started yet.#Have I written something wrong? I'm not seeing everything I wrote again.#I'm sure I won't say something so direct again.#I'M SEEING YOU. YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GIVE “❤️” TO THIS. IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME. (Seriously. it doesn't bother me.)#Am I starting with a capital letter after a comma?

10 notes · View notes

pardonmydelays · 8 days ago

Text

some like to believe it's the book that chooses the person

#carlos ruiz zafón i just love you so damn much i want to cry #i am reading the angel's game again and i'm so emotional right now #when i finished the entire series years ago i spent like two weeks staring at the wall #i didn't know what to do with myself #i will never be normal about those books #and i will never find anything as good as this series #everybody shut tf up now and go read zafón you won't regret it #i say whatever and whatever that i want*

3 notes · View notes

creative-hanyou-girl · 2 years ago

Text

When you're really REALLY passionate about a book that has the same vibes as your favorite anime/manga and you just really want to recommend it to all the people in your anime/manga fandom because you KNOW they'd love it too but your worried about being annoying and overbearing with your recommendation.👉👈

#of course I'm talking about the Red Winter Trilogy #guys. I'm telling you #this book series gives off so many Inuyasha and Kamisama Kiss vibes that if you love either of those shows. its basically required reading.#trust me when I say you won't regret it #the Guild Codex Demonized gives off similar vibes and trust me its JUST as good as Red Winter. Or at least a very close second.#please I need somebody to gush over these books with me😩#inuyasha #kamisama kiss #lowkey Guild Codex also gives off some Fairy Tail vibes too #fairy tail #the red winter trilogy #red winter trilogy #the guild codex #the guild codex: demonized #annette marie #bookaholic #book recs #book recommendations #books like anime

68 notes · View notes

dogearedheart · 4 months ago

Text

8i've been thinking about the last asks i got today. and i think it's better for me to take a step back from this account. i know the anon didn't mean anything by it, but i still feel like i am being a negative presence on here and weirding people out with who i am is nothing i want. so, i am not deleting or anything. i am just gonna be less present with sharing personal things or leaving tags. I'll probably be more active on my second account where i don't have that many followers :)

#i guess it affected me more than i'd like to #i don't want to make people uncomfortable #and i am sorry if i did that with any of my posts i know they have been overly emotional and maybe a bit insane #it's true that i am trying to deal with losing and finding peace i am not very good at this due to my intense emotions #and my fear of loneliness and losing people. i am also in a very bad depressive episode. i am aware that this isn't an excuse for any #of my behavior. i never had a support system so dealing with all this on my own and getting no therapist who is willing to see you #it's a downer. guilt is eating me alive and my mental condition is the something that has ruined a lot for me but it has never before done #such a terrible job before. recovering from that and dealing with the aftermath of this is exhausting and has taken a toll on my physical #and mental health i know this post doesn't mean anything to most of all and is at best confusing but i guess it's my poor attempt #of avoiding that people will hate me. i don't want to self-pity more than i already did. but i do that all on my own already.#i know that life is so much more difficult than fiction and you can't expect miracles or believe in faith to fix anything #i know there is no cure to who i am. i can only try to navigate it better in the future. it doesn't mean that i can't regret what i did.#that i can't feel guilty about it. i know that won't change anything but i am also trying to get better and i understand if that's not #visible. i just have to believe that one day it will be enough for people to say 'hey. i know you are fucked up.#and you hurt me and you've been a bitch. but we'll work on it. i believe in you.' otherwise i have to believe that this loneliness #is all there is and that i'm gonna die hollow #i don't want much. i just want some patience and peace #i want to believe that i am worthy of love and that i can get a future. and yes. me talking about wanting a wife and this stupid apple pie #life... maybe it's cliche and stupid but i have been alone for years and i am so tired of fighting. is it so bad that i don't want to do #this alone? and that goes for friends as well. i want to cook for people built things and tend to a garden to take care of animals #and to create instead of destroying for once.#i don't know why i am still writing i guess when the dam breaks... again. i am sorry for ever making people uncomfortable or even hurting #them that was never my intention. i promise #so i really hope. whoever is reading this. i hope you are doing alright. i hope you had/have a good day. tell the people you care about #you love them and enjoy the little things. read that book. eat that chocolate or do whatever brings you joy. the world is so difficult to #navigate but you are doing such a great job by just existing. you are making this world a better place with the light you radiate #the last thing I want to do something I never can forgive myself for is hurting people #not only but especially the ones I care about. but beyond that those I barely know too because I care about you guys too #I just don't want that... I want to leave the world better than I found it but I'm having a hard time doing it due to this stupid fucking #brain of mine.

2 notes · View notes

roseapov · 7 months ago

Text

Feeling nostalgia rn

Today honestly reminds me of the time in *let me check the date* 2022?!?!?! HOW WAS THAT SO LONG AGO??😭😭

Well, anyway- Today reminds me of the time when I was supposed to be sleeping, during a night of the return to my home from visiting family (it is a very long road, and I'm coming back after this night too-), back then I found @genshinluvr 'Not What You'd Expect' and stayed up to 3/4 am reading the chapters!

Ever since then I was checking up on them everyday, and then started checking them every Sunday, not skipping a week FOR MONTHS (I think I started a bit before 'By The Seashore' until around 'Happily Ever After?'), and reading everything with such a fascination. Later on I also started reading her HSR x Reader, and got super into it too!

So I wanted to share with everyone thede amazing pieces of art, a literal masterpieces that I want to thank greatly for lots of memories and good moments! Seriously, her writing is so professional and good! I'll never forget this work, it's truly one of a kind, thank you for writing it!

PLEASE go check it out!

Time to repeat history with reading and re-reading new things from Aaliah on the night before my return to home! (And being tired the day after-) Love you!

4 notes · View notes

inolienkiki · 7 months ago

Text

OH MY FUCKING GOD DARK ONE FORGOTTEN im fuckingf sobbing what was that. why arent people talking about that. it was so good and im gonna have a headache tonight because i cried but i don't care because i heard this story. go listen to it now

and I had it in my notes! I had this idea in my notes!! (went and checked and it's not in my notes) ok but at some point I wrote down a character who uses a curse to their advantage, and then I read alcatraz and was like oh that's not what I meant but I guess it's fun, but THIS. THIS DOES IT. SO WELL. and at some other point I wrote a short story about a functionally invisible character and that was before i read the schwa was here and this is actually one of my favorite tropes but this is the best one. this is absolutely the best one. endorsing dark one forgotten as the best functionally invisible story

went on coppermind to find the actors and coppermind forgot about them tooooo chris and sophie don't even have coppermind pages wtaf why did no one listen to this

i think its rachel jacobs and sophie oda and i can't find much info about either of them but they were boht fucking amazing. dear god thank you rachel jacobs. the number of times you said the other actors were really good and then you completely blew them out of the water. you made me tear up at least twice and the other time it was sophie oda so points to all of you

the story. can't even explain waht thsi is. true crime horror mystery fantasy? and I don't even like the first half of that sentence but I don't care because the story punched me in the gut and I didn't even need to understand the worldbuilding. chris asked questions and consulted experts and ran experiments and she got my heart. skeptical about sophie but she was there the entire time. not her project, not her obsession, not her responsibility, but she stayed, and she helped. chris and sophie said they weren't a couple and I was immediately like "yeah if they weren't both women(, bitch) that would be foreshadowing" and IT WAS FUCKIGN FORESHADOWING istg. This. This is also the best romance. And I hate romance I'm arospec lmao but dear god this got me. the sheer dedication to stare at somebody for eight god damn hours straight and then the music box scene. the music box scene. I got to it and I knew it was going to happen as soon as sophie asked but it still blew my mind and broke my heart that she did. because sophie is the best person in the world.

I have not been making sanderson reread update posts, and I read rithmatist and all of reckoners, but I'd already read most of those and there's nothing notable about lux except the plot holes and they didn't hit me hard like fucking dark one forgotten did. i barely knew this existed. It came out during the year of sanderson and yet nobody includes it in the book count. (There were 8 books/stories released, cowards, not 5.) but also I feel the need to mention that I thought dark one was quite good as well, but also that it feels like only the first chapter of a story so I can't say much else as of yet, I guess? I need more dark one. now. anything mirandus. why is nobody talking about this thing

also I feel the need to mention that there were she-ra references? like, references to the reboot, which is hands down my #2 favorite show (can't compete with dark but nothing can lol). and they were good references and they made sense. I started laughing hysterically when sophie said "hey adora". has brandon sanderson watched she-ra and the princesses of power? is this canon? I mean he definitely needs to

#cosmere reread #kiki's reading list #dark one #dark one forgotten #brandon sanderson #you don't need any background. you don't need any context.#just go listen to this now. you won't regret it.#it's an audio drama. fake true crime podcast basically.#you can get it on barnes & noble or probably somewhere else idk

4 notes · View notes